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Prayer for When God has Hidden Himself

Last Updated September 2010

 

God,

Where are you? I know that you are there even though I cannot see you, hear you or feel you. I want you to know that I love you. Even in this hidden season, I trust you. I don’t know why you are hiding yourself from me. But, I trust you enough to know that you have a good reason and that it is for my own good.

So, I ask you to hasten this season to its rightful conclusion. Help me to get from this season all that is needed from it as quickly as possible. Bring to fulfillment everything that I need to glean from this time of testing. Then, draw me close you once again. Reveal your presence and nearness to me to bring hope to my weary soul.

I pray that you embrace me with a warm blanket of your mercy and grace now. My fears desire to overcome me. Questions haunt my mind. In the face of my soul’s anxieties, accusations rise up within me. Everything in me wants to run and hide. I want to find security in things that I know cannot provide it. Only you can give me what I need and yet you have hidden yourself from me.

My feelings tell me that I’ve done something wrong in order to find myself in this desert place. Yet, I know that you are sovereign and that you have driven me into this desert place in order to test me. Just as you drove Jesus into the desert to be tempted, you have done the same in me in this hidden season. You have to discover what is in my heart and perhaps more importantly, I have to see what is within me. My faith must be tested and my weaknesses exposed.

Give me the courage to obey you in this desert season even though I cannot tell that you are there. Help me to make the right choices when it is most difficult to do so. Even though you seem to be eons away, help me to be faithful to you nonetheless.

I want to be faithful not because of fear or punishment. Rather, I want to show you how much I love you. I want to demonstrate me desire to know you. I want to make a way in my life for you to come quickly to me. I want no sins to create a barrier between you and I. I want the pathway to be free and clear so that I can come running into your arms.

You have captivated me by your beauty and I desire you. Somehow, I trust that in this hidden season, that my desires to find you ravish your heart with delight (in a way that it cannot in the seasons that you are near). So, take delight in my faith and love for you even though I cannot feel you. My yes is not dependent upon your nearness or my feelings. I say yes to you because I have tasted of your goodness and I have been ruined for anything else.

Even so, come to me. Hide yourself no longer. Reveal your hiding place like a daddy whose child has grown weary and frightened in the hiding game. Give me hints or clues as to where you have hidden yourself so that I can come and find you. Papa, I want to find you. I want to run into your arms. Come and make yourself findable to me now.

Your delighted but fearful child. This icon denotes the end of this prayer.

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John Tisdale Biography      

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John Tisdale spent a decade in college and graduate school involved in two primary fields of study - theology and technology. The two fields seemed like an unusual pairing at the time. But, John has combined these fields in some unique ways over the past 25+ years.

John has been an avid writer on both subjects publishing his work in technology and faith-based magazines and professional journals for over two decades. His technical skills grew to include computer hardware and software, database development, Internet and Web, video production, television broadcasting, satellite communications, and audio production. John has worked extensively in Silicon Valley as a technology, communication and marketing consultant for over 15 years. He spent 7 years building a global satellite and internet-based television network for the computer industry that has been used by Microsoft, IBM, HP and numerous other technology leaders. He has produced many live and taped television shows, training programs, distance learning solutions, audio and worship CDs, training DVDs, ebooks and Web sites. John also has worked extensively in online marketing, SEO/SMO and interactive engagement architecture.

John has consulted for many of the largest faith-based organizations such as Billy Graham Evangelist Association, Campus Crusade for Christ, John McDowell Ministries and many others. He specializes in helping organizations understand the business opportunities for leverage advanced communication systems to engage and impact lives around the world. His focus over the past decade has been in online engagement architecture, user experience design, information architecture and SEO/SEM/SMO.

In 1994, John was working for a technology company producing television shows in Silicon Valley. He was given the task of producing a series of pay-per-view television programs on the Internet and the emerging World Wide Web. He begin researching the Internet. At the time, the tools for using the Internet included Joghead, Archie, Veronica, Finger, WhoIs and email. John began using them extensively and exploring opportunities with these or other emerging tools. The Web was just emerging and gaining interest in the Valley. John brought together many of the industry leaders from Silicon Valley who were leading the march with the Internet and Web to appear on the series of live interactive television broadcasts.

Following the television series, John began using the Internet and Web for personal evangelism and ministry. He found incredible success. He found himself praying with people interactively using early chat tools in numerous countries. He began training others how to use these tools for personal ministry. He got his friend Steve Hewitt, the editor of Christian Computing Magazine, connected to the Internet and trained how to minister to people with them. John appeared on Steve' syndicated call-in radio program Christian Computing Live on several occasions to discuss how to use the Internet to impact lives. John wrote a series of articles on the topic Christian Computing Magazine. He was invited by the Billy Graham Evangelical Association to train ministry leaders in the concepts at one of the first Internet Evangelism conferences.

John developed his first evangelistic web site in 1994 at www.WhyChrist.com (not in service any longer). He provided training, content and other free resources on this site. In 1995, John began developing a bigger vision for using the Internet to build a global network to connect ministries to help them reach and positively impact more lives. He called this vision the Online Christian Evangelical Alliance Network or OCEAN. He wrote a 300-page strategic white paper on the concept to using the Internet to provide a collaborative ministry network throughout 1995. In July 1995, a local Christian newspaper published an article on John’s internet evangelism work. John took all the resources and content he had developed for WhyChrist.com and transferred them over to ocean.org.

The next several years John developed a grass-roots effort to educate ministry leaders on the emerging opportunities afforded by the Internet. In 1998, John connected with a group of similar minded people in Silicon Valley who were working toward a very similar vision. John ended up combining his efforts with theirs under the umbrella of The Christian Internet Initiative. They worked together for a couple of years with many of the leading ministries. They ended up providing technology consulting services to many of the largest ministries in the U.S.

As this effort ran its course, another group was emerging to take the vision to the next level. A group from Christian Broadcast Network (CBN) in Virginia combined with venture capitalists in Silicon Valley to start Christianity.com. John eventually went to work for them and brought a team of software developers he had been training in the Midwest into the mix. The dotcom crash happened during this effort and seriously undermined the initiative. After the company consumed 3 rounds of venture capital it closed its door in 2000.

John then took his group of software developers and formed Tandem Partners. They provided custom Web application development services to many ministries such as Campus Crusade for Christ International and many others. John continued this work for the next decade. Most of the past decade, John has worked as a consultant helping organizations leverage the capabilties of the Internet. He has worked on producing and developing a wide assortment of resources to help seekers, skeptics and believers alike grow spiritually and find deeper fulfillment in their personal relationship with God.

John’s passion is to experience the deepest measures of life possible through his personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He wants to see others experience emotional and spiritual healing, freedom and abundant life. John resides in the Houston area with his wife Anita (a singer, songwriter and worship leader). They are also involved in international mission work, particularly in the Baltic region (helping bring hope as well as spiritual and emotional healing to war-torn regions such as Bosnia). You will find John's personal website at www.JohnTisdale.com.

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