God,

Where are you? I know that you are there even though I cannot see you, hear you or feel you. I want you to know that I love you. Even in this hidden season, I trust you. I don’t know why you are hiding yourself from me. But, I trust you enough to know that you have a good reason and that it is for my own good.

So, I ask you to hasten this season to its rightful conclusion. Help me to get from this season all that is needed from it as quickly as possible. Bring to fulfillment everything that I need to glean from this time of testing. Then, draw me close you once again. Reveal your presence and nearness to me to bring hope to my weary soul.

I pray that you embrace me with a warm blanket of your mercy and grace now. My fears desire to overcome me. Questions haunt my mind. In the face of my soul’s anxieties, accusations rise up within me. Everything in me wants to run and hide. I want to find security in things that I know cannot provide it. Only you can give me what I need and yet you have hidden yourself from me.

My feelings tell me that I’ve done something wrong in order to find myself in this desert place. Yet, I know that you are sovereign and that you have driven me into this desert place in order to test me. Just as you drove Jesus into the desert to be tempted, you have done the same in me in this hidden season. You have to discover what is in my heart and perhaps more importantly, I have to see what is within me. My faith must be tested and my weaknesses exposed.

Give me the courage to obey you in this desert season even though I cannot tell that you are there. Help me to make the right choices when it is most difficult to do so. Even though you seem to be eons away, help me to be faithful to you nonetheless.

I want to be faithful not because of fear or punishment. Rather, I want to show you how much I love you. I want to demonstrate me desire to know you. I want to make a way in my life for you to come quickly to me. I want no sins to create a barrier between you and I. I want the pathway to be free and clear so that I can come running into your arms.

You have captivated me by your beauty and I desire you. Somehow, I trust that in this hidden season, that my desires to find you ravish your heart with delight (in a way that it cannot in the seasons that you are near). So, take delight in my faith and love for you even though I cannot feel you. My yes is not dependent upon your nearness or my feelings. I say yes to you because I have tasted of your goodness and I have been ruined for anything else.

Even so, come to me. Hide yourself no longer. Reveal your hiding place like a daddy whose child has grown weary and frightened in the hiding game. Give me hints or clues as to where you have hidden yourself so that I can come and find you. Papa, I want to find you. I want to run into your arms. Come and make yourself findable to me now.

Your delighted but fearful child. 

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